I’ve been trying to lose weight for the past three months. I’m not overweight really (I’m kind of on the verge of it, according to my BMI), but I really want to be more slender and toned than I am. I’m 5’2″ and between 135-140 lbs. I don’t really have a goal weight because I think the number on the scale can be really misleading since muscle weighs more than fat and exercising will inevitably lead to muscle gain. I take my measurements (bust, waist, stomach, and butt).

I’ve been exercising regularly (cardio and strength training) every week and eating healthier (more fruits and vegetables, cut out junk food, etc). I even cut ice cream out of my diet for the entire month of November. For me, that was a big change, because I ate ice cream about 3 times a week (I work at an ice cream shop).

I didn’t notice any really big changes in my appearance so I took my measurements and took pictures of myself a week ago. I compared the pictures to the pictures I took 3 months ago and nothing. had. changed. I felt this huge wave of disappointment that lasted the rest of the day and into the next week. I was doing so well with controlling my cravings and not over eating and exercising regularly and I had nothing to show for it. I felt defeated.

Then Christian pointed out I might have experienced other changes in myself. I thought about it and realized that in the last 3 months, I took significantly less naps than I have in the last several years. I’m not sure if I’ve felt energized since exercising recently, but at least I’m not sleepy all the time! Also, I think it’s kind of helped my depression too. I think my therapy and medication has also helped a lot, but my exercising helped no doubt. Furthermore, my cholesterol level is lower (yeah, I’m 20 and I have high cholesterol).

So after thinking about all those things, I felt a lot better. My lifestyle change wasn’t really a waste. Things have changed. Just not my appearance, which I’m still disappointed about, but as my friend Rachel pointed out, I’m pretty close to my goal weight (so to speak) so weight comes off extremely slowly.

I did cardio today for the first time in an entire week and I feel GREAT. I just took a shower and my body feels somewhat tired and I love the feeling. I feel accomplished too. I didn’t have enough mental energy to do my ab work outs (I absolutely hate exercising, so finding motivation to actually do it takes a lot out of me), but I figure I’ll slowly build up to where I was. Tomorrow: cardio and abs. Saturday: cardio and legs. Let’s do thiiiis!